Change It All

I want to walk in the snow
I want to gaze at the stars
I want to capture the moon

In a land so full of heat
Buildings upon buildings
And artificial lights oh so bright
The three of which I want to grasp are always out of my reach

But even if there weren’t these hindrances
Even if it snowed all year around
Even if the moon wasn’t an illusion through the eye of a camera
Even if all the street lights vanished so I could watch the real stars shine
I wouldn’t have anyone to share it with

No mother
For my own is just busy, busy, busy

No father
As he lives far away where they do get snow

No brother or sister
The only one I have can’t even crawl on her own and is just as far away

No lover
As I’m too broken for even the cold man for whom I wait ever patiently

Friends
A happy family always awaits them at home
Where the arms are waiting to embrace
Where there’s always a new and exciting story to laugh at later
Where you’re never alone
Not for one second

But me?
I have the few stars I can see from my backyard
I have the blur of an unwilling moon on my camera
I have but the wish to hold a snowball in my hand

What about a snowball fight?
Have you ever been in one?
I haven’t
I can’t even paint the snow to grasp the illusion

How about gazing upon the moon through a telescope?
I did that
But the telescope was broken
Nothing but darkness and blurs awaited me

Have you ever seen a falling star?
I haven’t
Do they go as fast and are they as beautiful as they are on my TV?
I’ve always wanted to wish upon those fireballs myself

Star light, Star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight

I wish to be able to see the boy of frost
I wish to get my mother back to her old self
I wish to not be alone anymore

Any one would make me happy
To be happy?
A foreign concept, truly